blessings

I try not to think about it. It is easier that way. I don't get sad, angry, or anxious that way. But sometimes I do think about it. I can't help it. I hate that I'm not with my kids all day. I hate that I have to pump instead of feeding Cora in the morning. I hate that I don't know what Jude eats for lunch, or if he eats well, or if he went on the potty chair, or if he listened, or what was done about it. I hate that I don't see my kids awake on most days until close to 2pm, and then they are grumpy and need naps. And then I am grumpy if they won't take naps because as much as I want to see them and spend time with them I also have a million other things I feel like I should get done when I get home. So instead of spending time with me they usually spend time "alone". I hate that as much as I want to be with my kids all day they still drive me crazy and I lose my patience too often. I hate that I don't know what to do to when Jude won't help pick up or when Cora is refusing to sleep. I hate that I get overwhelmed when the house is a disaster area and all I can think about is how I want it to get picked up and put the kids to bed and have peace. I hate that i haven't had a full nights sleep in over six months. I hate that ministry and teaching doesn't pay like doctors or lawyers or bankers or fill in the blank. I hate that Gil and I both have advanced degrees and still can barely scrape by.

In the spirit of the season I also have to be thankful. I am so thankful for so many things. I am thankful that we have a daycare to bring out children to and that they enjoy going. I am thankful that Jude gets to play with other kids. I am thankful that we have jobs (that we enjoy even if they pay terrible!) and a home and food and health (I have always thought being thankful for health was a little silly. It has just hit me recently how real that blessing is!). I am thankful that my husband gets the kids ready and brings them to daycare each morning (he does this way better than me!), and that he arranges his schedule to be able to spend time with them and me. I am thankful that we have family and both our parents nearby and that they help us out in innumerable ways. I am thankful for my savior.

I have a lot of internal conflict...but I will try to count my blessings:)

Brittany, we just made and sent you this card!!! It probably won't make it to you until after this weekend, but we love you and are proud of you!!!

5x7 Folded Card

Lovely Branches Green 5x7 folded card

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face lift

I have been contemplating all of my favorite past times...running, reading, shopping, writing, music, devos...and how I rarely get to do them these days! Then I decided to change my blog background and I discovered that it is like online shopping...plus free!!! So I guess there is one outlet covered. Now, how to find a substitute for the rest?

Folding clothes is next on my agenda. Could that be like music to my ears? I think not, however I could listen to music while folding. Or better yet a book on tape!

I am still struggling with fitting in exercise. I even bought a Dancing with the Stars tape to motivate me. I've done it once.

Jude has learned how to open his baby gate on his door today and is now sneaking out and waking up his sister. Time to go! Here is my running!

SICK

Sick seems to be a constant state at our house lately. I usually pride myself in how few sick days I have to take as a teacher. Not so after kids! Since the beginning of this year I have had two colds and the stomach flu with another cold seeming to be on its way now. Gil has had a cold for the better part of the quarter it seems. Although Jude hasn't had too bad of a runny nose or cough, he is the one who brought the terrible stomach flu home from daycare one day only to have me contract it five days later, and now Cora a whole two weeks later. I'm not really sure if what she has is the same thing or not. Who ever knows what an infant has!? It is so nice that now Jude is able to tell us a little bit about how he is feeling (even if he isn't able to puke into a container instead of on his bed or the couch yet...). In fact last night around 1am he woke up to tell us he was sick and wanted to sleep with daddy. Throughout the questioning we are pretty sure we discovered the "sick" was that his leg fell asleep and hurt enough to wake him up! Cora on the other hand...she is a mystery. She has had a low-grade fever for the past three nights and just hasn't seemed her smiley self. Then last night after a three hour nap she went to sleep early, only to wake up at 10:30pm with a higher fever and to throw up (not just spit up!). Poor girlie! So last night was crazy with her in the baby swing so I could hear her better and then Jude in our room for a bit after he got "sick." I really struggled with what to do today. My class was attending a field trip to the orpheum and a museum in Sioux City (not to mention the mall!!!). I really wanted to go. But Gil had to teach today and if both of us were in Sioux City and unable to be there if she got sick again...then what!? I had to make the decision before she was up so I really couldn't gage how she was feeling. I decided I needed to stay home and I think I am glad I did (although that is now 3 days down for school so far). Cora is feeling much better I think (no more throwing up), but she still isn't quite herself and she has slept most of the day. It is probably good to be home for her though to get more rest than she would at daycare. Also for me to be able to nurse her when she needs/wants.

Then there was Jude today. He has been GREAT! It seems like on school days I get the short end of the stick because I usually leave before he is really up and by the time I pick him up from daycare he is so ready for a nap that his behavior is something to behold. I typically get a tantrum or two or three before we make it to his bedroom... and then it's sometimes a battle with the nap. But today he hasn't had one fit, not even when he had to put the ipad away (that is a first!) PLUS he didn't take a nap. Now I really would've rather he take one than spend the hour and a half in his room playing and hollering for me constantly...but if he's gonna be so good without it I can hardly complain. Despite how energetic and social he is, Jude plays so well by himself.

A new great thing Jude is doing is that he will occasionally burst into song! I love it! Right now, in fact, he is singing "Hey Jude." It's great! I've also heard "Jesus Loves Me" and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." Oh, and we recently discovered that they pray before eating at daycare because he started saying the "God is good" prayer one night:) Another one of my favorites from Jude is his word "beautiful." He uses it all the time and it is just so cute! He pretty much gets the concept of beautiful, but uses it for things you wouldn't normally, like the jelly toast that I made him the other morning. He has yet to call me beautiful, but he has told me my shoes and earrings are!

Cora is almost on the move now. She squirms all over! She also loves to hear her voice. If she likes to talk as much as her big brother does we could be in for a battle of the voices around here! She is almost sleeping through the night, usually only gets up once before I do at 6ish. She is also getting into eating her cereal. I have been trying to get some baby food prepared before her six month mark. In fact I made a batch today (sweet potatoes from Grandpa Great's garden--thanks Carolyn!) and another on a day I was home sick (squash)! So I guess these days have been good for something:)

September where did you go?

I somehow managed to skip the entire month of September on my blog....hmmmmm...must mean the Ridenour's have a few other priorities at the top of the list lately. Actually, I have (as I always say) a million thoughts throughout the day that I think could be turned into a fabulously witty post, but then by the time I have a minute to put it into words I have forgotten already. One of the things I have been thinking lately is how I seem to never do anything and yet have no time. How does this happen?!? I guess the answer is kids! I really shouldn't say that I don't do anything because my kids are dressed, fed, played with, napped, cleaned (sometimes!), etc. That is about all I can squeeze into the day after I get home from school at 2pm.

Along these same lines, I have been contemplating my still larger-than-before midsection lately and this is my conclusion: I can either 1.) Exercise and feel guilty that I am not with my kids/husband or doing one of the many things on my to-do list or 2.) Get used to it and feel guilty that I am not exercising! I don't really like guilt. I think I need to find a happy medium somewhere. Like doing a little of both. Still working on the logistics of that though. I thought nap time was the answer, but I just can't seem to get it done because my other source of guilt is that I'm not doing enough for my class. Which really turns into stress because I can't get it all done. Sometimes people ask me how I do it all. The answer is I don't! I fall short in every area. Exercise is one area, but I'm also feeling like I don't do enough school work or play with my kids enough or cook good meals enough. I think I need a clone to do my exercising!

On another note, Jude seems to be boycotting napping altogether lately, but he still needs it...any suggestions?!

Here is a little of our month of September:

Cora and I on Blue and Gold day for Allen's homecoming. This weekend we got haircuts, went to the football game, went to the swap meet, went to Missouri for Gil's grandpa Gilbert's 89th birthday, and decided not to go to my friend's engagement party (sorry Jamie!!!).
Here are Jude and Cora hanging out.
This is what my couch looks like typically. Last night after I dumped a load of diapers on the empty couch Gil commented, "Oh, the couch was so happy to be free for three hours!"
Here is Cora in her "new toy" as Jude calls it. She is enjoying spending some time here.
We finally got to meet baby cousin Sarai. Here are the Ridenour grandparents with the three amigos!

And here is Cora with Sarai, just 10 weeks apart.

The Second Child

Here is Jude at 3 months...

And here are more pictures of our little angel! Monday she was 3 months. With Jude I took a picture each month on the very day he turned one month older. So far with Cora I am 0 for 3 for getting the exact day...must be that second child thing. So anyway, Monday I forgot...but I made up for it on Tuesday and Wednesday when we had a couple photo shoots together during big brother's nap. Here are some that turned out pretty good I thought. She doesn't like to smile at the camera because she gets a little distracted...but I managed to capture a couple. So, do you think they look alike or different?!?