Growing Into Yourself

I recently gave birth to my fifth (and final) child.  I also made the difficult decision to quit my job and just focus on being a mom for this season.  I wanted to soak it all in.  All the "lasts."  The last newborn baby of my very own that I will hold in my arms.  The last tiny newborn clothes to wash.  Even the last sleepless nights.  I wanted to make sure to cherish them all (just like I have been instructed to do from the mothers who have come before me).  But of course life happened and I got tired and hungry and exhausted from being needed all the time by my five tinies.  And while I would say I really did cherish those first "lasts," they still flew by before I knew it.  My wee babe is now nearly six months old.  And my first wee babe is nearly nine years.  How did that happen?!?!  As I was thinking about time and cherishing it I realized something that astounded me: each day we become more of who we were created to be.  This is especially true for children.  And why it is so bittersweet to watch them grow.  My tiny newborn was not meant to stay a tiny newborn.  He grows and changes EACH DAY, SO MUCH!  And each
day he is becoming more himself.  More of his personality grows, more of his looks become evident, and the more I fall in love with him.

The same can probably apply to myself as well.  While our society begrudges growing older and idolizes youth, I cannot help but ask why?  Why do we try to stay where we are (or even go backward) when what we are becoming is so much greater?  We become more ourselves.  We gain wisdom, experience, understanding, joy, and even pain.  We are better off for having these experiences, for doing the hard work of living.  And while there are plenty of great things about being 20, I wouldn't go back.

And that is what I try to remember about my children as well.  While I sometimes grasp for time to slow down I try to remember that the joy really is in seeing the transformations.  Seeing the wee babe, so fragile and helpless, become a smiler and a sitter and finally a toddler.  And the toddler begins to talk! Then run!  And climb!  The child chooses to share!  To help someone in need.  Learns to read! And play an instrument!  To try a nw sport! Drive a car!  Get a job!  And so much more.

We are all meant to grow and change.  Each day is a chance to become more of who we are.  And to watch our children do the same.  My fifth little one will soon be the chattering two-year-old asking "why" every two minutes.  I will miss having one of those around.  But I cannot wait to see what a ten-year-old can do!